Unknowns record 12-1 win - Match report by Jais

Unknowns United 12 - 1 Sengkang Youngsters

Following last weeks' loss, there is only room for improvement and the unknowns bounced back in scintillating style as they dispatched newly promoted Sengkang Youngsters by a record 12-1 scoreline.

Unknowns tried to refresh their line-up by leaving Kevin "i'll-lob-you-from-anywhere" Jianhua and Captain Apple "Midfield General" Jianping on the bench. It wasn't like they will be needed in this encounter anyway. The game also saw the return of midfielder guoliang, who went straight into the starting 11.

The signs were telling from as early as the 2nd minute, when Yuanji, chased a loose ball and forced the defender to stab the ball off his own keeper's hands into the goal. From then on, it was no looking back as the unknowns put on a footballing masterclass infront of a much much inferior opponent.

Next up was Sherman, whose "cross-shot" clinically sneaked into the far post past a crowd of players.

Then Top Scorer Zhenrong opened his account when his tame shot slipped past the keeper's hands and through his legs into goal. He immediately turned away in disgust for scoring such a soft and unglamorous goal. He later refused to claim the goal but the Dubious Goal Committee over-ruled him and awarded the goal to him.

Yuanji added a fourth when his rasping drive squirmed through the Keeper's hands into the net. Apple and Kevin were introduced thereafter and the later proved what a great footballer he is when he dribbled past the entire defence, and when facing one-on-one with the keeper, unselfishly squared the ball to the unmarked Zhenrong to stab into an open goal.

5-0 and we are only half time!

Second half began in similar fashion as left back Leslie bombarded down the left flank to shoot past the stranded keeper. Jais, playing in the left midfield then picked up a long throw from Leslie to charge into the box and fired in to make it seven.

Gabby, who hasn't scored for sometime, then accepted the gift of the goalkeeper's poor kick to fire in coolly and clinically into the bottom corner to end his mini goal drought.

Jais added another with a close range finish to triple his scoring telly of last season (1 goal), before turning provider with a trough ball for his namesake Jason to blast his name into the score sheet to record a hat-trick for "Jason".

Zhenrong, who was by now playing in the right flank, completed his own hat-trick when he scored his third with another good finish. Finally, (Phew!) Jason increased his personal telly with his second for the game. However, there was still time for the Youngsters to score a consolation past Yingjie, who couldn't get off his beach chair in time.

Overall, credit to the opponents for playing on with a big heart even though the odds are clearly stacked against them. In return, the Unknowns played all out as well, so as to show the opponents they respect due for them: We played against them like we would do against any other opponents.

Final Score 12-1, a new record for most goals in a match and biggest ever win, for Unknowns United.

Quotes of the day -

"I am not going to pay!" The returning guoliang, who realized the game was not value for his money.

"Nevermind la. You leading 5-0 already, still give the penalty, later scoreline double digit!" The kind referee, after waving a legitimate penalty claim away. The scoreline did reach double digit anyway."

I never hat-trick la! the second one no standard, it doesn't count!" Striker Zhenrong, humbly refusing to claim the second goal."

What a waste of money" Winger Sherman, when it comes to collecting the post match moonies.

*Special thanks to Jais for a thoroughly entertaining match report*

Unknowns lose 0-1

Unknowns were caught on a luckless day and although they battled bravely, they were eventually defeated 0-1 by a veteran team at Peihwa Sec, last Sunday.

After a decent run of four wins on the trot, Unknowns were hoping to continue the streak against a veteran team of thirty-somethings.

Unfortunately, luck was not on their side on the day itself. The first tell-tale sign of things going awry happened even before the match, when defender Vincent left his boots at home and was unable to start the game. Left back Leslie and centreback Andy were also absent, thus the Unknowns were rather shorthanded in defence. Captain Apple, usually the heartbeat of the engine room, was forced to drop back to defence. Midfield maestro Hanwei was also lacking fitness having just returned from Taiwan, the unknowns honestly lacked their usual rhythm.

Nevertheless, Unknowns battled bravely, and should have gone ahead in the 25th minute when they were awarded a penalty. Sadly, Jais' effort went agonizingly wide by the narrowest of margins. But thats the way penalties are: Russian roulettes.

Full-back Tinky played worst than shit and was duly hauled off at half time, as Unknowns reshuffled the pack in an attempt to win the game. In the 73rd minute, striker Yuanji had a glorious opportunity to win the game. Timing his run perfectly, he sprang free of the off-side trap and looked odds-on to score, but somehow his shot straight into the arms of the opposing keeper. It was yet another sign that it was just not going to be the Unknowns day.

The veteran opposition were surprisingly not short on fitness as most people would have thought, and they won the game by scoring the solitary goal in the 82nd minute.

Unknowns tried valiantly to find an equaliser, every player in a red shirt on the pitch was running their lungs out to help the team, but luck was truly not on their side.

Unknowns defeat arch rivals FC Bayern

Unknowns defeated long-time arch rivals FC Bayern 2-1 at Orchid Park's artificial pitch on Sunday morning, with striker Zhenrong grabbing a brace.

Unknowns and FC Bayern have a long-running history of fierce rivalry, and matches in the past have often been hot-tempered and controversial. There was indeed no love lost between both teams.

Under the sweltering heat of about 32 degrees celsius, Unknowns kicked off and proceeded to dominate possession and had the lion's share of attacking opportunities in the first half, but FC Bayern held on resilliently. Zhenrong had a fair claim for a penalty when he was bundled inside the box, but the referee waved play on. At half time the score was still 0-0.

In the 52nd minute, Unknowns finally broke the deadlock. Midfield general Apple was kicked in the shin and went down painfully, the referee played the advantage and Gabriel passed the ball to Zhenrong, who made no mistake with a superb finish.

Minutes later, Zhenrong has another far more legitimate claim for a penalty when he was clumsily manhandled by a couple of opposing defenders, but once again the referee refused to give a penalty, much to the disgust of the 40000 fans watching from the HDB flats.

Angered by the referee's biasness, Unknowns pressed on and finally got the goal to seal their victory. Sherman's supplied a sublime pass to Zhenrong, who applied another wonderful finish.

At 2-0, FC Bayern had nothing to lose and tried franatically to launch a comeback. Throwing everything at the Unknowns, they eventually got a goal back about 10 minutes before the final whistle to ensure an exciting finale. But the unknowns defended resolutely, and grounded out the win.